The Sixth, in which I bid an enjoyable (save some private romantic disappointment) long weekend goodbye.

Goodbye, enjoyable (save some private romantic disappointment) long weekend! See you next year!

The Fifth, in which I vaguely (in a blatant way, mind you) reference my rapidly approaching vacation.

Fuck you, sinus hell. Out of the Ohio Valley for four days is where I'm headed.

The Fourth, in which I confess that I've been drinking when I should not have been drinking.

Curing insomnia by cultivating a predisposition to alcoholism is probably not the best decision. I should start using a one-hitter as a sleep aid instead.

The Third, in which I allude to commiting marginally criminal acts.

If you ever get the chance to just stand out in the rain completely naked, do it. Also, the rain helps disguise the wet footprints that served as evidence that you may have decided to go swimming completely naked in your neighbor's pool.

The Second, in which I express my desire to own a boat.

Holy mother of god do I wish I had a boat. I'd prefer a river yacht (if that's what they're called), but I'd take anything, as long as it has an inside (cabin?) with a bathroom and some place to keep drinks cold. I want to drive (pilot?) my boat all over the river every day, until I get bored of having a boat and sell it for money that will go towards whatever the next thing I don't need but desperately want is.

I worded that poorly.

The First, in which I appear to have the feelings of a teenage girl.

Every so often, I think about you and the way things could have gone. Then I blink and the moment is gone, just like you.